1. Thou must keep a blog for a year
This could be the hardest commandment to achieve out of all 7. The longest diary I have ever kept was when I was 11, it had receipts from Pets at Home and a bit of parsley from a cheese sandwich stuck in it. But maybe, just maybe, I will remember to care for and nourish this blog if I set blogger as my homepage instead of my faithful friend Google.
2. Thou must refrain from gluttony, and get a sexy body
I have been blessed with 30E boobies also my flab kind of goes in the sort of right places (Thighs, butt and back-muffins.) However, a whole-body slim-down for myself would be very nice. I want to be able to walk without my thighs touching together. This would be very very nice for when the summer when not a lot clothes are required. Much as I normally dont like my overlarge boobs, and much as I dont not like being vain, I think they would look good in a bikini with a newly-toned body on a beach somewhere sunny.
3. Thou must be more confident in thyself
I can get paranoid about thinking about what people think of me. I get also become shy around meeting new people (ESPECIALLY PEOPLE I FANCY. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TELL MYSELF, LOOKING AT THE FLOORAND MUMBLING REPLIES IS NOT SEXY) I want to be one of those people who everyone seems to love to be around-you know the type- the ones people make facebook tribute pages about.
4. Thou must find love or get a sexy time
Since turning 16, the legal age of consent, I have had zero sexy times. Prior to this, I have had illegal, underage (and technically paedophillic) sex no less than 76 times. In 2011 I want to find the Guy Of My Dreams, or perhaps a holiday fling (is that a bit desperate? You only live once though). I don't want 2011 to be a year of barren romance having my sexy underwears lurking sadly in the back of a drawer.
5. Thou must not be unkind to thy neighbours and not bitch
The sad fact is, the more you bitch the more you get bitched about. I want to break this cycle and become a Nice Person. Apparently some study claimed bitching releases the same endorphin things as orgasming does. Maybe that's true, bitching with someone does indeed feel good. But being a Nice Person is the G-Spot to feeling good.
I have no crazy-intense plans to become a doctor that requires straight As. If I fail I would only feel like a failure in myself, as it would be about 9 years of education wasted. So I must bite the bullet and do what I'm completely and utterly shite at: revision. Revision for me is not achievable as homework. Homework has a clear beginning and end. Revision is just a never ending tunnel of darkness. My prelims are after the Christmas holidays too.
7. Thou must travel in the summer holidays
I have never been abroad with an exception of a funeral in Ireland. This year I'm saving to go somewhere sunny on a package deal and flop like a pussylicious whale on a sunbed and watch tidy foreigners go by. So far I've saved up £210. Commandment 7.5 is to Not To Spend Money On Stupid Stuff such as magazines and food.
