20th May

I woke up next to that tidy boy. It was lovely. We had a hugely long boning session which my sister (who decided to dye her hair white and now looks like Draco Malfoy) probably heard but oh well. We went to the gym and I got crazy endorphins which was great.

So we came back and slept for a bit on my bed and I had a very fast shower and we met Shannon and went to Brinley's gig.

They played bad because the singer wouldn't sing and this other boy kicked him out the band, in front of everyone which I thought was pretty mean. He would get grounded for a month anyway for coming out to play which is a shame. All the way through Brinley playing I checked him out. Nom.

Mum keeps going on about when he was anorexic and today I finally asked her to shut up about it. She said I've started to obsess about food since I've gone out with him. It's only been the last three days. I ate like a pig today, anyway.

Day 97/367

Today started off so shit but it ended good. I woke up and everything was a mess and I didn't have anything to wear and I  had ingrown hairs everywhere.

Brinley came round and it was so steamy it was unreal. I think I'm in love. I got 5 completely nasty hickeys on my neck and I finally let him onto the next level of fondling. We bonded over Mighty Boosh (the moon in particular) and had discussions about going to phsychiatrists (he used to be anorexic. I was SO chuft that he eat half a can of tuna with me.)

I hope I see him tomorrowwwww (and I need to start revising! ARGH!)

Day 90/367 {Day 4 of Brinley}

Brinley came to mine and we spent the next few hours pulling on my bed. I kept rejecting his hands going on my ass though I don't want to seem easy, and also my ass is not smooth. My legs are though so it's all good. He did slight overclothes fingering that I wasnt too pleased about. Not on day 4.

I always feel vulnerable lying on a bed, and a lot of things slip past me and I don't notice. Standy-up kissing is way better than bed-kissing.

He said I'd probably last because he acts like how he did with his longest-lasting girlfriend (of 9 months). This gave me uber-mixed emotions. Jealous and hope at the same time, and I'm not a jealous person. I think I'm a perfectionist- everything I do has to be the best it possibly can. I have to be skinnier, funnier and prettier than that girlfriend goddamn it!

I think he is equipped with a large shlong. It looked (and felt) so noticable

Although the consequences of not eating a lot are starting to kick in. I keep not being motivated to work in school and I feel completely knackered when I get home. I weigh just under 9 stone though, and I think I'll freak if I get higher than that. I want to be 8 stone so I feel light for Brinley when he lifts me. That sounds totally anorexic but there you go.