3rd June

Brinley slept round. It was too hot to cuddle though which sucked. We were both pretty grumpy at each other throughout the day. We went to the park and flopped for a bit, and then met up with friends and I spent the lat of my EMAS bought £10 worth of 4 pants, a cami and thigh high socks from Matalan.

I felt fat because Brinley wouldn't carry me. I mean, I shouldn't assume he'd carry me but it's just nice sometimes to feel femenin and thin.

I grumped at him some more but we both agreed it would be better tomorrow because we'll have slept and everything. Monster movie night tomorrow, woop woop!

I found out Brinley apparently has a savings account of £40,000 for when he's older. I asked mum if that was normal and she said no. I got angry because sometimes he say's he doesn't get a lot of money and shit so I lend him and dont ask for it back.

If I didn't have EMAS I'd be screwed. Ugh. Grumpage.

31st May

I woke up next to that lovely boy but had to walk with him to the bus station at like 8am. Afterwords I came back and slept for about a year. Then I walked Sunny (who was bad) and met  up with Ben and Nikky and found out I got my EMAS. Woop woop! Brinley came back and I bought all my fake tan, body spray etc etc etc.

We met up with people (and this knob called Ross) and I made everyone pasta. Ross is such a dick. I asked my mum to stage a phone call to get rid of him but it was VERY transparent. I dont really care though. Asshole.

Everyone stayed for ages which was nice and I dyed my hair (which made no difference, I did leave it on for ages though but at least I no longer have roots). I LOVE BRINLEY SO MUCH. I kind of neglected him today but oh well. Saturday= Movie night and Thursday= Jess' dinner night. Much happiness.

Graph Comm exam tomorrow, sigh.

Day 111/367

First day back at school. Shannon was talking to the boy-that-I-thought-was-a-mong and he said he wished Brinley wasn't going out with me so that he could. I asked her if she thought he was joking but he apparently said that in all seriousness.

WEIRD.

I need to revise my arse off for these exams. I meant to do Biology today but ended up spending about £40 on online stuff including brown contact lenses, Basshunter CD and 3 new industrial bars for my ear. That's where all those taxpayer's money goes. £120 a month for people like me to spend on crap.

Dad's apprently gonna give me big BIG money if I get credits.

Fingers crossed for 2 weeks from now. GULP!

Day 53/367

Majorly pissed off. Loads of people underage got tickets to Mumford and Sons. And got on TV.

I am rich right now. My EMA money has finally come in! £120! So now I've got about £210 saved up for Canada, spent £20 of it on nailvarnish and eyeliner and glasses with about £15 left over in my normal account.

I feel really sad right now and cry-y. I miss the Ex like crazy...
So I put on facebook 'Is experiencing some very late heartbreak even though its like 4 months later' and *BLING* the Ex signed in on MSN. But hasn't talked. Please talk...I think I love you

Day 41/367

My little hammy Sputnik died. I think he must have died on Saturday. I feel so guilty for not checking him that day but when I went to feed him there was The Smell so I knew what had happened. (I had been anticipating it though, he was over 4 years old)

Today I burried him in his little blue house with his food bowl with 2 peanuts in. I planted sunflowers in my room so I can transfer them when they're big enough beside his grave.

So today's been pretty pants. I didn't go to school. There was a letter about me not wearing school uniform which might mean I won't get my EMAs. And it was raining.

I miss the Ex so much. I texted him about Sputnik's death and he phoned me to listen to my crying and snottering all my bogies into a tissue. I want to hug him and go out with him again.