Day 130/367

Exam stress has finally sunk in. I kept almost crying when Brinley and Jacob were over. Depressiveness FTL.

Mum took us out to lunch (I had a sandwich and Jacob had a cake. Brinley didn't have anything)

I have a major crush on a girl right now. It's great.

I hate jealousy. Theres this girl Alice who's friends with Brinley and from what he's said I thinks he fancies him (Crotchal hugs, playing the nervous game, going to 'rape' him at the camping tonight.)

She's way skinny aswell and people say she's got a good body.

Ragin.

I pierced my wrist. It was super.

Day 92/367

Today was great apart from the end. Me and Shannon went to see a talent show Brinley was playing. That was fine and dandy but Mum was in one of her crazymoods and was like LET'S GO TO BURGERKING!!! and then when Brinley's dad came she went over and was like HI I'M JENS MUM!!!!

Ugh. I don't know why that annoyed me so much but sometimes I really resent her. She has no willpower to stop eating shit and it's really really pissing me off. I should stop thinking about her otherwise I'm gonna get more stressed.

Stress Factors Right Now:

1. Mum
2. Room smells of feet
3. My rat keeps being bad but she needs cleaned out
4. My eyeliner gave up on me and went all flakey
5. I forgot to suck my stomach in most of the night and I was in a tight top FML.

Day 44/367

Today started out great. I got up at 10:35, got ready and went to tesco to be a Sexy Shopper in tight tshirt and shorties.. I was buying two sets of ingrediants-one for a chocolate cake and one for a cheesecake. It was damn stressful. Especially when I couldn't find buttermilk (I didn't even know what it was...was it solid? Like a sweetie? Or like...milk?) I had little sweat patches afterwords.

I cooked and baked and prepared and cleaned for about 4 hours. I had to use my two saucepans 5 times (cleaning them thoroughly each time).

The cake turned out gorgeous. I got it from the BBC Goodfood website. Jacob said it was lovely too. We went to a restraunt (I had these chickeny skewers) Jacob said I wasn't a person because I didn't eat the two dips or the burnt bits.

I'm really annoyed at mum right now. She whined at me to give her cake. She can't control her eating, and to make matters worse I have to seem like I'm a good influence on her because she goes on about how 'strong' and 'inspirational' I am so I can't have a fat day. I wish she could just have enough willpower.