Day 69/367

I took loads of black and white underwear pictures of me. I put my webcam on my light which was pretty epic.

The Ex asked me what I was up to  and I said taking photos. He called me vain. I hate that boy. Stuff like that makes me feel too bad to put any pictures I take of myself on Facebook or anything.

Mum's in a really weird mood which is a pain in the ass.

I think I fancy the Gamer.

Day 68/367

Nothing much happened today

I was so tired today everything felt like it was a dream.

My bruise from the showies covered my whole elbow which is pretty minging

Day 67/367

Showies.

The gorgeous Latvian went on  my lap on the tugada. I jizzed a bit. I also did a tiny pee on the miami when it whooshed down (I'm such a pussy I couldnt breath on it at the start cos my throat tightened up so I had to do breathing techniques to enjyo it)

I fell off the tugada as well and my knees are bust and then the Latvian's friend crushed my elbow on it which'll bruise loads.

Shannon's friend Hayley was a pain, we were waiting for my mum and she was complaining that she wanted to go back to see this boy she fancies. I pointed out to her that if she went then I'd be left on my own outside with a huge group of polish men I don't know but she didn't see it that way.

Oh god. Sam was there. He has such a...unique....facial structure. I couldn't make proper eyecontact because I didn't want to stare.

I want to go back out with the Ex so much! argh!

Day 66/367

I ate 1000calories of a chocolate bunny dad gave me. I feel pretty sick, but I'm still under 9 1/2 stone so it's all good.

Look at this girl's hair! Imagine how MUCH OF IT there must be when she has it down and normal. Wow. I wish I had hair like that. I'm gonna backcombe it tomorrow up town, scene style.

I'm considering getting red streak things in my hair.

Ahh, the Ex's eyes are so beautiful. I was looking at him on webcam and it struck me that I had kissed him. Weird.

Day 65/367

I didn't go to school today. I was knackered after last night of late-night-art-essaying and meeting mum at the trainstation at half 11pm.

I did have a productive day though: I cleaned out my menagerie, walked sunny and picked up Jacob's fleshlight parcel from the post office. Me and mum found a dead cat in a binbag on a walk though. Not so good.

Day 64/367

Two things made my day today.

1. I got told by my vauge friend she'd never heard people bitching about me. This is a complete surprise because the general rule is- the more you bitch the more you get bitched about.

2. Someone told me that in a discussion, this person who I thought regarded me as a mong said I was the most bangable in the whole English class because I have a 'good body'. (I'd eaten a crisp roll and a chocolate sundae and an easteregg for lunch so this made me feel very good)

I like the Ex again. I went on webcam to him for the first time in months. I didn't have a lot of makeup on but I looked OK. To add to his freaky poster collection he's got a picture of jumping dolphins and another one of puppies. I commented on this, but he wasn't too perplexed by my judging. Are puppies and dolphins normal for a testosterone-filled, sperm-filled, coming-on-19 year old guy?

When I was on webcam to him I did some stretching to show off my boobies in my tight top, careful not to lift my arms to reveal the 2-days-unwashed sweaty fuzz my underarms were harbouring. Why was I showing my boobies to this guy who has posters of puppies adorning his wall? I have no idea.

I'm a lot more masculine than him and I'm a completely different gender. It just doesn't make sense.

Day 63/367

Ugh. Can't be ersed with the Ex. Sometimes I just forget what a freaky shit he is. Ugh. He has a poster of two retriever puppies and lovehearts on his wall. Jacob has game posters, Cale has ninja drawings, Scott has naked women...it's just not normal.

Mum's away in England for her Masters couse so I watched Shawshank Redemption and ate a lot of shit. Making shortbreads at the moment and listening to Stepping Stone by Duffy which is a banging tune for what I feel at the moment. Ugh.