Day 96/367

I wanted to sleep all day today but Brinley was in my town again with some of his friends so I went and seen him. Right before he had to leave I told him it sucks to be you because I was home alone all day and I had 2 shag bands to live up to.

Shannon was complaining to me today that she can't talk to hot boys because she fancies this boy Dan who's in Brinley's band (he has a huge mole on his face though) I said pretend they looked like Sam (remember him?) and she said 'I dont want to imagine Dan with a freckly penis. I said she wouldn't, she'd imagine him with a moley penis instead. I pished myself for about 10 minutes AND on the way to Jacobs an hour later walking on my own. Oh dear.

Day 76/367

Yuck. I am bogey QUEEN. I hate having a cold.

I hate Sam. He's too witty for me. On facebook I deleted one of his comments because I couldnt be assed coming up with a cleverer, funnier answer than him. Maybe it's from years of being bullied for being ugly he's developed this unusual skill.

Day 67/367

Showies.

The gorgeous Latvian went on  my lap on the tugada. I jizzed a bit. I also did a tiny pee on the miami when it whooshed down (I'm such a pussy I couldnt breath on it at the start cos my throat tightened up so I had to do breathing techniques to enjyo it)

I fell off the tugada as well and my knees are bust and then the Latvian's friend crushed my elbow on it which'll bruise loads.

Shannon's friend Hayley was a pain, we were waiting for my mum and she was complaining that she wanted to go back to see this boy she fancies. I pointed out to her that if she went then I'd be left on my own outside with a huge group of polish men I don't know but she didn't see it that way.

Oh god. Sam was there. He has such a...unique....facial structure. I couldn't make proper eyecontact because I didn't want to stare.

I want to go back out with the Ex so much! argh!

Day 59/367

I got Sam's number today and sent him anonymus texts

Sam: So who are you?
Me: You're greatest fantasy in the shower
Sam: The honey monster O_O?
Me: So...you like them hairy?

I asked him if i could give into his nice tight butthole. I got a wrong-text from this guy saying 'Hey David you going bowling tonight?' and I said wrong text and they said 'whos this?' and I VERY STUPIDLY said Jen. Sam had borrowed someone elses phone. I'd been outsmarted by a freak.
I saw him in the corridor straight after too.
Oh dear.

I want to go back out with the Ex. I want him. I'd love him and be such a good girlfriend bringing him food and not complaining about the mindless, monotonous, nondescript sex.

Day 56/367

I felt ill this morning so I slept in till breaktime. On the way to school this woman asked me what the time was which took me completely by surprise as I was probably scowling at the ground and looking anti-approchable.

I felt guilty about the waterbottle incident with Sam so I told him it wasn't me. He only wrote like one response so I think he dislikes me.

I had this minging headache all day but I ate:

88calorie cereal bar
Pasta Salad
Pomegranate+Blueberries
88calorie cereal bar
1 fajitta

I'm gonna make a tuna wrap for tomorrow

Day 55/367

I paid Rebecca £1 to throw a waterbottle off Sam.

It hit his leg so I gave her 20p.

I decided I'm gonna be healthy tomorrow so I made a pasta salad! All by my self! And a fruit salad of pomegranate seeds and blueberries! Hoping to join the gym too.

Today I was complaining about my huge spot on my forehead and Mr Menzies butted into our conversation and said 'ohh you have another one their'. I told him very acidically that that was my scar.

Day 51/367

I want sex. I keep having sex dreams!

It was sunny today which made me crazy happy. Today's been the first day in about a month when I havn't slept during the day which is completely insane.

Mumford+Sons ticket-plan looks good, me and some other people might do camping!

So I put this thing on facebook and the 3rd person who liked it got to ask me a question that I had to answer honestly. Guess who liked it.

Me: Youve got a question to ask meee

Sam: Nahh dm
Me: Noooo ask pleaseee?
Me: Sammmm :)
Sam: What was the reason you never wanted to meet me properly
Me: COS YOURE UGLY, BITCH!! (I said that in my head.)
Me: Cos I didnt want a relationship :)
Sam: I only wanted to be friends
Sam: I told you that
Me: Okkiesss (and I put the kissing face :*...I really have to stop messing with this boy)
Sam: Well it's a bit late now
Me: ??

He still hasn't replied.

Day 39/367

I wore my extensions today! They're a complete bugger to put in though but they make you feel so feminine and pretty. I saw Sam on the escalator in Tesco! I said hey. He said hi and looked at the ground. Thank god I was looking good today instead of him catching me off guard alone with no makeup.. (he's started talking to me again on MSN and then asked if I wanted to see that freaky alien film called Paul on valentines day. Uhh, Sam, just because I said hi doesn't mean I want to eh, go out with you?) I ate like a fat shit today. Gotta cut down Fat Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays to just Fat Friday.

I saw the Kings Speech today, it's really good!

My top lips split completely and nothing seems to be healing it. I bought 70p plasters with 'Butterfly and Friends' on them to put on my minging infected green bugbite on my arm.

La vie est belle!

Day 31/367

So now I'm bored of plentyoffish.com. After 96 emails of notifications (blocked now) I cant be bothered with messages of "hey" "hey youre pretty" "hey what you up to tonight" "hey" "hi" "hello" "hi". Maybe I'll check it again in a month.

Today I saw Black Swan. Oh god it was so intense. I really want to see it again, I only got the plot right at the end. Ugh it's gonna give me nightmares! At one point her legs break backwards and her toes fuse together...argh!

I also found Sam's name graffitied onto a fence. Shannon took a picture of me pretending to kiss it...hehe I'm such a mean girl...

We also went into Poundland today and I dithered for 10 minutes whether or not to buy nipple tassles. In the end I bought red angel wings and a halo. Shannons being a white angel and Eilidh's being our pimp devil. Singles night is going to be SOOOO GOOD. Eilidh was completely appauled when I showed her my lingeree drawer (containing a basque, stockings, suspenders and fishnets.) Maybe we wont be donning her in sexy gear just yet. Shannon's completely fine with it, I even told her about my vibrator (I'm still yet to try it out...)

Day 28/367

I saw Sam close-up for the first time today. He came up behind me and said hi. I would have said something completely normal if I hadn't been so taken aback by his real-life ugliness.

Some people are forgivably ugly, like, a facial feature out of proportions fine and dandy. I have teeny-tiny lips and sticky out ears. But Sam. Oh lord. I just did this sort of nod of recognition and broke eyecontact. He then tried to sit with me for lunch. I didn't make eyecontact again so he moved away back with his chums.
Maybe I should start being mean to him. I'm ignoring him right now.

He keeps asking if he's done something wrong ("I loved the splendid chat we had last night, hope to do it again soon xx on facebook" with a friend commented 'loolol' with 5 likes. DOESN'T THAT TELL YOU SOMETHING SAM?) But maybe being mean will keep him keen like in the saying? I hope not. Holy crap, it was all the way back in day 8/367 that Sam asked me out! 20 days have gone by since then...wow.

Late last night I was talking to the Ex on MSN. He keeps saying 'gratz' to whatever I say which is really annoying. He said it again to something that deserved a reply much  better than 'gratz' and I sent to him 'if you say that one more time I'm going to hump you'. I meant to type jump. Awkward turdle? I think so.

I'm right. The Gamer fancies me. I keep talking to him about Sam and he's suggested not just once but twice that I should go out with someone on facebook to deter him. And also several discussions about how people should just ask people out.
I do fancy him a bit. He's pretty tidy with a 6pack. But he's Jess' ex. And it's weird going out with someone at school: all the awkward kissing in the corridor and shiz. (I still cant imagine enjoying kissing someone else that's not the Ex though.)

Free day tomorrow! I'm planning to sleep in so much. I havn't slept in in about a month. My painting went well in art today (5hours painting!) so it's all good.

Day 27/367

Oh god. I went on webcam to the Ex. My face looked so round compared to his finely chiseled jaw and cheekbones. I desperately tried sucking in my double chin and straining my neck to make it look longer but my muscly shoulders make me look like Matt Cardle no matter what I do (i.e, lack of visible neck.)

Me: Ugh do I look like a mong?
Him: mhmm
Me: Noo why? Do I honestly?
Him: yes
*close webcam*
Me: :(
Him: ?
Me: Im a mong
Him: are you?
Me: to your opinion am I?
Him: Idk

I hate him. Nothing's a straight yes or no with him. After many sentences of 'what matters is your opinion of yourself' he said no, I do not look like a mong. Thank god.

I talked to Sam. He hasn't talked to me for a while so I wonder if his flame of lust for me has burned out. I asked why he doesn't talk to me. He said it was cos I was boring. Then he said Jokes. That means he wasn't really joking but doesn't want to sound nasty. He says he wants to meet up with me. I replied I'm happy to meet up with anyone (non committal) as long as they aren't awkward. Ugh now I have to meet up with him! What have I done!

For once, God has listened to my complaints of wanting a boyfriend. He was feeling very pleased with Himself that He was answering the prayers of a heathen.....and so He sent Sam.


On the brighter side, my drama exam went pretty good. I think I at least got a credit. And I'm taking in two thornton chocolate hearts on lollipopsticks for Jess and Eilidh for the art exam tomorrow!