17th May

My sister's back home again today. Groan. I woke up and CBA-ed doing anything but I showered and fake tanned and felt better.

I went to Jacob's and revised and Brinley came round and him and Jacob played some Xbox and we went to Tesco's to get tea. Brinley hadn't eaten anything (I don't know how's the best way to react to that) so I bought him chickens and hams from Tesco. I'm gonna dye my hair red/brown/ginger soon. Woowoo!

Drama exam tommorow. Bricks have been shat.

Day 131/367

Biology exam went a lot better than I thought it would. I wore a skirt. Big mistake. Buttdances, visible-butcheek scares and goddamn THONGS (no VPL). Ugh. Stress.

Brinley came round and it was all good. I keep getting really emotional after boning. I feel like I'm not perfect. Chubbs, ingrown hairs, the lot. It's great. I'm getting a headache from mums bug too. Great fun.

Really CBA with the exam tomorrow, modern studies. Ughughugh.

Day 128/367

We woke up at 10:30 and did loads of english revision. I showered and felt better.

Brinley came round later and we had possibly the best sex so far. It was lovely and romantic and I came 4 times. I felt guilty towards mum though. I've been not a very nice daughter recently.

English tomorrow and I'm shitting bricks. Wanna get two 1s.

Day 121/367

I got grumpy at Brinley again at the youth cafe. He kind of neglected me again but not as much as the first time. I think I was just suffering exam stress which is making me over sensative. This girl Alice was getting in about him aswell. They did a crotchal hug. (Normally when friends hug only the upper body makes contact. If it's a romantic hug crotches and legs touch.) Alice looked round to see if I was watching too. Great fun.

I came home and we talked on msn and I told him that I felt rejected and stuff. We sorted that out and I said to him I dont want to get hurt by him because I was still hurting (in some perverse sense, I dislike the Ex so much now) from my previous relationship and he said he was feeling exactly the same.

So it's all good now.

Day 107/367

Me and Brinley were very close to sex today. The only thing stopping it was my hand covering. Crazy shit. I wore my sexy red thong and felt sexy in it. He made me orgasm 2 times from fingering.

I had a dream I cheated on Brinley with the Ex. I felt disgusted at myself all day. I really don't  like the Ex.

I feel really weird right now. I feel ugly. Brinley's friends apprently said 'paperbag' when he first went out with me. That makes me want to get a hot body even more to have at least one good thing about. Feel like such an emo right now. Weird feeling of wanting to be emo and cut. WTF? I don't even do that.

I don't usually care what people say about me. I mean, someone said I looked like a rat on formspring and I wasn't even bothered.

I don't know why that got to me so much. Probably because I thought I liked Brinley's friends. He said they took it back when they saw me and said I was hot and had good boobs.
Maybe I'm just having a mood swing.

I still havn't done any revision. It's Brinley's fault because if I hadn't gone out with him then I'd've been revising all holiday.

Ugh.