Day 123/367

Today was good, me and Jacob came round and I shoved my hair in this weird topknot coming out of my head to make volume and toothpaste on my spots and then Brinley came round suddenly.

Ugh.

I put makeup on and we went to cooper park for a bit and then on the way back we met up with Brinley's band and they all came round to my house and we had an amazing fajitta and doctor who sesh. Owen, the band's vocalist gave me a crotchal hug, and specifically made another guy hold his guitar so he could hug me. Hmm. We did have a Muse bonding jam with me on piano and him on guitar though. And I said he looked awesome earlier today because he had a fedora and glasses. He's not hot and I fancy the pants off Brinley (literally).

Everyone went home apart from me and Brinley and we fell asleep on my bed and then went to Jacob's for a sleepover....We boned a tiny bit in the night...not even fully in but a teaser for the time when we properly bone.

I ate like a whale. I'm suprised I'm not fat.

Day 109/367

I actually revised. For about an hour. Then I gave up.

Brinley kept mollestering me and then I teased him because he said he wouldn't mollest me so I took my top and bra off and went up to him massaging my boobs.

I wore a belt round my waist for the whole of last night and most of today and my waist went down to 24/25 inches instead of 26 and I wore my supertight muse tshirt when I went to see Scream 4 with Brinley and his friends. I think I looked hot. Both of his friends hugged my when I was saying bye too. Hoped I felt skinny/booby.

Oh god, I feel really bad about Dad. I saw him for the first time in about 2 weeks today and I won't be seeing him tomorrow because I'm going to Brinley's instead of seeing my granny and grandad AND I missed last Sunday with them too. I told Dad it was because I was revising.

I shouldn't feel too bad about that today. He's so socially retarded. He burps really loudly in public and talks about people when they're within earshot. Ugh.

Day 32/367

My nipples just wont accept we're not going out with the anyone anymore. They keep getting stimulated if I brush them against anything. It's really annoying.
The Ex has stopped talking to me. I don't know why.

I went over to this girl Lauren today. She was mid-conversation to this boy about how she should be a glamour model because her "boobs are so big". She's a 32B. I did a sort of awkward laugh. We asked her if she wanted to go to poledancing classes with us but no-she could already poledance.
I'm listening to Dermot O'Leary Presents: The Saturday Sessions. It's got Biffy Clyro singing Fight For This Love. It's absolutely insane. Their accent is so noticable! That's why I dont think Matt Cardle can pull off Many Of Horror. (Oh wait sorry, "When we Collide"...) because of the accent. Matt Cardle just lacks the rugged Scottishness Biffy have.
However Fyfe Dangerfield (think the old M&S advert 'she's always, a woman to me') singing Girls Aloud- Call the Shots. That's one intense tune. There's also Athlete singing La Roux. Highly recommend that album.

Hey! A guy on Plenty of Fish is teaching himself piano. And likes Muse! Gotta see what happens there...

Day 4/367

Today's been depressing. I have broken Commandment 2 majorly- bag of macoys, dunkers and shortbread (which I baked yesterday and had to take two attempts at, wasting 2 tubs of butter and a lot of flour and a lot of sugar. I even broke the bowl.)

I also reshuffled my room about and realised how much ACTUAL SHIT I have stored up in it.
Right now I'm watching Iron Man. Robert Downy Jr. He's definitely on my DILF list.
It's now completely over and done and finished with the Ex.
After saying I miss him and a large conversation about him being 'The Nice Guy' and talking to me without him 'Shrugging me off', he is 'going to stick to it fully this time' (-me not talking to him, or indeed, him not replying to me)

So I said have a nice life.

And am considering deleting the 8923 texts and sexts of a happy relationship from my phone. I had a small angry cry afterwords in the bathroom whilst having a pee. Weirdly, both of them came out in a synchronised short angry bursts.

Relationships are so hard. One day you want to smash their face through three walls and other days you want to be in their arms watching a romcom. I threw away a box from the chocolates he got me on valentines day containing petals from the 12 roses.. At the time I was listening to Muse-New Born, a suitably angry song for this kind of ordeal. Old Muse is so good compared to their The Resistance crap. These days they're making Freddie Mercury turn in his grave, singing crappy songs about politics that nobody cares about and being followed by Twihards.

You're about as innocent as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field. This facebook like made my day today.