Day 92/367

Today was great apart from the end. Me and Shannon went to see a talent show Brinley was playing. That was fine and dandy but Mum was in one of her crazymoods and was like LET'S GO TO BURGERKING!!! and then when Brinley's dad came she went over and was like HI I'M JENS MUM!!!!

Ugh. I don't know why that annoyed me so much but sometimes I really resent her. She has no willpower to stop eating shit and it's really really pissing me off. I should stop thinking about her otherwise I'm gonna get more stressed.

Stress Factors Right Now:

1. Mum
2. Room smells of feet
3. My rat keeps being bad but she needs cleaned out
4. My eyeliner gave up on me and went all flakey
5. I forgot to suck my stomach in most of the night and I was in a tight top FML.

Day 91 {Day 5 of Brinley}

Today was complete pants. I felt headachey and so tired all through today. The only good part was seeing Brinley for 5 minutes after his rugby. He was so tidy it was unbelievable and he got another semi.

He asked me on MSN later, do I love him? I replied 'I've been thinking about that last night and even though I havn't known you for long I think I do.'

<3

Day 90/367 {Day 4 of Brinley}

Brinley came to mine and we spent the next few hours pulling on my bed. I kept rejecting his hands going on my ass though I don't want to seem easy, and also my ass is not smooth. My legs are though so it's all good. He did slight overclothes fingering that I wasnt too pleased about. Not on day 4.

I always feel vulnerable lying on a bed, and a lot of things slip past me and I don't notice. Standy-up kissing is way better than bed-kissing.

He said I'd probably last because he acts like how he did with his longest-lasting girlfriend (of 9 months). This gave me uber-mixed emotions. Jealous and hope at the same time, and I'm not a jealous person. I think I'm a perfectionist- everything I do has to be the best it possibly can. I have to be skinnier, funnier and prettier than that girlfriend goddamn it!

I think he is equipped with a large shlong. It looked (and felt) so noticable

Although the consequences of not eating a lot are starting to kick in. I keep not being motivated to work in school and I feel completely knackered when I get home. I weigh just under 9 stone though, and I think I'll freak if I get higher than that. I want to be 8 stone so I feel light for Brinley when he lifts me. That sounds totally anorexic but there you go.

Day 89/367

Most of today was depressing, I felt really tired and I missed Brinley loads. I did some revision and went to sleep. I talked to the Ex and he was way depresso (sorry for spending a whole year dissapointing you etc.) so I was comforting him and said don't you dare wallow in self pity because at some points we did have a good relationship and stuff. I told him how I initally fancied him as he put himself across as confident and interesting over the internet and he said oh cheers.

Ugh I'm annoyed at mum- she wont let me go out and meet Brinley when he's arriving back from Ornkey at 10pm (which is pretty late but still).

Day 88/367

Brinley came round to my house this morning and we pulled on my bed loads and he lifted me up! It was so sexy it was unreal! and he like weight-lifted me like I was a weight! Nomnomnom....Finally I weigh less than 9 stone so it's all good. He had his hands on my ass and he had a boner. Ahh. I miss him so much right now, he's gone to Orkney for rugby. I'm seeing him on Monday...I can't wait so much!

Day 87/367

Today was insane. After school I had Bollywood dancing and was going to meet up with Brinley at the gym. I seen him and went over and it was pretty awkward but ok. Afterwords we went to my house so I could change my trackies to jeans and went to Asda and did a lot of hugging. We went to the bus station and saw some people there and then they asked Brinley if he said yes to asking me out and he said yes!

Woowooowoo!
We kissed at the bus station and he had a semi. HAHAHA! And he said because of that thats why he kept pulling away from hugging me in Asda.

Day 86/367

So I went to the youth cafe. And he wasnt there. FML. And this other boy freddi perved on me like LOADS which was very freaky what a creep. Ahh I'd bang Brinley I'm hopefully FINALLY going to see him tomorrow at the leisure centre.

I got a 1 in drama CHUFT even though our performance screwed up loads